It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
