So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
