i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
