When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
