just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
