Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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