My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
