my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
