what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
