Can i not drive my cunt home
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
