I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
