It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize