I just saw a hot homeless man
there's paper in my vomit.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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