i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
