hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
