last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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