Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
