I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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