I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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