Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize