grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
