You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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