I like my sex mixed with concussions.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
