I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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