I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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