Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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