guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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