Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
