Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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