You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
