WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize