I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
