careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize