barbara walters just said penis...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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