I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
