some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
