its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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