She just used a chaser for red wine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Green mimosas i think yes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
