let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
