I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
