At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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