She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
