This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
