god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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