It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
