New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
