I think i peed on brittanys purse
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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