how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the day after is always just damage control
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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