hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
