ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
