Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
