Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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