We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think your dad took our porno
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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