if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
