Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
