I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
