i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
