Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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