I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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