Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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