so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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