Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
