I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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