But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
