no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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