I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
